Tuesday, May 17, 2016

QUEERNESS -SCHIZOID OR WHOLE

It began with the mirror
Representing me to myself
Attuning me to a cleft
Between my self and not self
The scaffolding of self i held
To be the sanctum of my being
Revealed , in time, a conglomeration
Of things controlled and uncontrollable
Beneath the orderly 'I' i fashioned
Lay a disorderly, unruly medley of selves
Whose visitations were more like mnemonics
Beclouding the monochrome of my made self
My made self, the self i made up
Making it up anew each instant, was futile
In making out, or making sense
Of that of which i was fundamentally made
I chanced upon queer, appropriating
A frame of reference with a history
Adroitly effacing its specificity
Into a metaphor for the unknowable
Twas a theft, a remaking
By scribbling on an unfathomed palimpsest
Replete with myriad uncontainable depths
Its very own fabric of nebulosity
Coexisting in terms of equanimity
As the jostling possible blueprints
Wrested a fixed false self conception
Through acceding to the very inchoate
Hieroglyphs in the crypt
Of that which lies beyond, behind mind
I postulated , in consonance with uncertainty
Proliferating potentialities of being
Into a tangled but refracting skein
Whose crisscrossing hues deepened
An immanent unreality underpinning
What was or gets passed off as life

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