Thursday, April 2, 2015


He said he was an atheist. I didn't mind. Why should i given that i wasn't exactly a believer. But the word lodged in my mind. I thought it elucidated a position of scepticism which proved the tenuousness of the believer but couldn't eradicate the nebulousness the believer laid claim to. Was he rejecting the edifice of metaphysics or the idea of a institutionalized god was something he didn't expand on. I let it rest at that , desirous of acrimonious dialogue.
'Is belief without a name still a belief?' I asked
'Belief needs something tangible', he postulated.
'Is that which is intangible to us therefore to be disbelieved or are we to accept the limits of our vision.'
'The world is mediated for us by our sense of reality. We must have got it right somewhere.'
I resist the idea of 'god' as though it is a palpable figure. I resist idolatry and superstition. But i do believe in a beyond.'
'Would not the idea of a beyond one couldn't conceptualize be a source of deep terror and uncertainty'.
'Yet in that very dark we could reconfigure ourselves'.
'How, it baffles me?'
'By the very fact that being part of a cosmic reality we get intimations through visions and dreams of that which is beyond us. Those hints are enough for the moment'.
'How do we know it is a vision and not a projection of the unconscious?'
'Because it expands and fills with exultation about the immensity of what is around us, humbles us, connects us with other forms'.
This dialogue with his brother, recounted in retrospect, breaks my heart , given, that metaphysics, which philosophers explored so assiduously remains, with all analyses and theories, an unknown and unknowable realm whose unfathomed reaches, glimpsed, momentarily, sometimes rapturously, elsewhere with misgiving, nonetheless transmute consciousness, from the banal and quotidian, while acknowledging their indubitable worth, to the transcendent and the ennobling.
Categories. Compartments. Fragmentation. Atomization. Discrimination. Hatred. Wars. Pillaging. Killing. Death. Destruction. Darkness Unconscious.
Sane, Insane.
Proliferating madness, Cultural breakdown
Neurotic stipples foreground, amid sane coordinates, limits of ratiocination.
Reason attenuates chaos into, Pores encumbering inner beings
Inner being becomes to asseverate, the only reality of itself.
I begin my narrative with a fruitless dialogue which then results in a more fruitful dialogue which opens up a space for my meanderings and culminates in a breakdown of words structurally to create a higher meaning while the higher meaning collapses in the wake of its articulation given the space i open up through their breakdown which emerged from a fruitful dialogue that becomes fruitless considering that the meanderings collapse in its own wake as the original fruitless dialogue comes full circle.
Compartments create fragmentation which becomes a space where, with sufficient pressure, meaning and language collapses. It leads, either, to a new order of being or folds back on itself self annihilatingly. But a dialogue, whether within or outwards, is never unfruitful. Imperceptible transformations of perspectives occur. A sense of reality, incorporeal, impalpable, creates new spaces for breakthrough. Whether one is inclined to metaphysics or not is irrelevant. The beyond persists, regardless.

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