Saturday, August 2, 2014

Beginnings

I began the day, though beginnings are, by their very nature, both promising and anticipatory, given that what is anticipated can only be done so when it is begun, or if not begun, conceived ,which is just another beginning that, starting with the conceptualization of a conception that was a beginning filled me with anticipation though anticipation is also, somewhere, somehow, a pleasurable hope of an optimistic outcome which is why anticipation is what it is in the first place as a new beginning , a new beginning forthwith, with a putative positive outcome as life is indeterminate and the outcome uncertain, yet, amid this uncertainty a spark of hope irradiates as hope is what, in trying times, sustains and buoys us as human beings though with our anthropocentric self importance, the buttressing through hope is perhaps inevitable despite the fact that, in all ways , we are part of the cosmos, a cosmos that is a conglomeration of the quotidian and the metaphysical wherein the quotidian, with its focus on the minutiae, the day to day business of living and being is stippled, inveterately, with its own moments of the metaphysical which is, indisputably immanent in it so that ,though indwelling, we are capable of a certain apotheosis for ourselves, an apotheosis that reaffirms the transcendence alluded to earlier, though that allusion was not alluded to, specifically, in conjunction with the quotidian yet the convergence that is now being reaggregated is, undeniably, of an altogether transcendental order but then is transcendence possible in the washing of a teacup given how banal the washing of a teacup is but still it gives, in the very face of its purported banality, a certain pleasure or, at the very least, a certain satisfaction that a daily task, however infinitesimal it might seem in the larger scheme of things was ,nevertheless, with a certain assiduity, accomplished , an accomplishment whose sense of contentment, despite the mundanity of the task in question, was redoubled, redoubled because it was both a means of doing the concrete thing, which the washing of the teacup is and the attendant emotional satisfaction it engendered, a satisfaction that soothes the mind, pleases the consciousness and gives, amid the depressions that this day and age invariably engender, a working towards something, something in the here and now achieved seamlessly, with great practicality and speediness which, in the being of a person with depression, would be impossible to carry out, given the inertia, listlessness, unutterable, unmitigated despair that constitutes depression reflective of, as i said, this day and age which is fragmented, chaotic, which atomizes ,compartmentalizes and indeed all that frustration of unbelonging, of being anomalous, of standing out, can be incredibly, immensely frustrating in a culture that prizes competitiveness, success, material wealth, fame where everybody, yes, everybody is a somebody and a somebody is actually a nobody, part of the rut, the normative which, despite its irresistible allure is, taking all into account, repressive , constricting and damning because at the end of the day who wants the norm yet we all end up, unconsciously, sometimes, unconscionably, adhering to it which is why, for a breakthrough through this breakdown of culture a journey is essential, a journey to the anterior where things began, the beginning of our beginnings and really, that thought which is the beginning, was what enthused me with anticipation of a better outcome for all of us, with a deep cogitation on how to better our lot.

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