Thursday, May 8, 2014

love

He was in love with her image.He had seen her on screen.It began as an attraction,an attraction for her physical beauty.This physical electric spark often characterizes such romances.However the image very soon became his reality as he began to enter a dimension of love that encompassed all it's aspects.It became an unhealthy obsession that consumed his days and nights.He began to entertain fantasies of marrying her,of spending the rest of his life with her.This fantasy took up so much of his time that while her reality became his own he began to lose touch with his own reality.He let himself go.The screen created for him an illusion of a space to exist in which was so utterly captivating,so enchanting that a feeling of unreality seeped into the world he inhabited.He walked around like a zombie,moving around like a marionette attached to strings held by this woman who barely knew him but dominated his existence.
 
As the obsession grew,his reality became more and more tenuous.He had always had an amorphous sense of identity which with the passage of time grew more formless.our hold over ourselves decreases in direct proportion to the illusions overwhelming our lives.Memory also distorted the actual with the imagined so that what happened,what he thought would happen and what he wanted to happen became blurred.He became fractious,petulant and peremptory to his loved ones.His peremptoriness grew as he weird notions were challenged.His intractability increased more and more as he was dissuaded and entreated to relinquish these wild dreams.The image filled the length and breadth of his existence obliterating even himself from an awareness of who he was.
 
As the fantasy grew his dreams,ambitions and hopes from life reduced drastically in their intensity.Life became a baroque nightmare suspended between a feeling of triumph between what he could get from her and fear that his desires might be unconsummated. This is the dangerous appeal of an unrealistic dream.It exerts a powerful influence and has devastating consequences.Sexual fantasies in particular,in imagination may possess a simulacrum of reality but in actuality have barely a modicum of realism.He became increasingly frustrated and intransigent.As dreams of putative reality slipped away the imaginary came to dominate his existence.Very soon,the imaginary took over and reality slipped away altogether.He began to peregrinate schizophrenic realms unsure of who he was but sure only of the imaginary universe he wanted to make his own but which ironically could never be his.never was or could ever be his,ever.
 
He sees her on screen,self pleasures himself,looks into her eyes,deep as pools and submerges into them,losing himself into them,going deep down,down and down into the hinterland that we call a parallel universe i.e madness

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