Wednesday, March 12, 2014


Where did i begin was a question i frequently asked myself. It was a pertinent query but one whose answer was unknown. Perhaps it is human folly that inquiries of this nature are accompanied by a wistfulness, a holding of breath, as though the answer lay within but could be only experienced, not articulated.

Memories flood me, significations congeal, associations quicken, perceptions deepen. Certain mnemonics repose in my unconscious mind, mnemonics that take me back to pre history. There, in the penumbra of the gloaming the salinity of the womb suffuses my nostrils. I see a wide, bottomless expanse of sea, receding and stretching infinitely, indefinitely. A vast, capacious ocean of being entombs me where i, a floating arabesque, try to hold on to my singularity.

They are, therefore i am. Because they are, i become. Quantum physics theory of the big bang fails to satiate my quest for knowledge. It is too pat an explanation, too neat a theory. Besides it is what we say the world began as and our evidence, though amplified by science still remains, unproven and unprovable. The apparatus of technology is a coloration, a sheath but is mediated through our own consciousness . I say so, therefore it is so as though objective evidence of life beyond us were chimeras, designed to obfuscate our anthropomorphic grandiosities.

So i stand before a mirror. It reflects me, i reflect myself through being reflected by my reflection which the mirror reflects by impassively reflecting on the reflection i proffer to it to reflect on. At present, as the rims of the mirror glow opalescently, maybe it is all i have. Best to begin with a beginning i can determine. On the other side, there is only madness. 

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