Tuesday, February 11, 2014

UNCONSUMMATION

I burn in the fires of hades. My sagging flesh putrefies and then is singed. Memory, once a palliative, now becomes an encumbrance. If i can blot out consciousness, erase all remnants of reminiscence i would be reprieved. But treacherous mnemonics encroach insidiously, subsuming me in an uncontrolled cavalcade of remembrances.  The after life or life after life is a condition i am familiar with. I relinquished all significations of humanness but Gretel's gentleness, guilelessness made the entombed humanity in me to resurface. My heart palpated, i throbbed with love and by thus, abrogating what i had become, came to be.

Initially i captured Hansel and Gretel to sate my voracious appetite. I wanted the villagers to know, through this capture, the bestiality inherent in me. I wanted to be an object of fear. So far a patina of fearfulness constitutes the villagers and i try, each moment, to crystallize and rend the veils of hypocrisy that is unbecoming i them.

My delectable offerings seduced Hansel and Gretel and once i inveigled them into my domain i proceeded to fatten them up. Little did i realize that Gretel's blond pigtails and ingenuousness would break the chip of ice in my heart. I wanted to be submerged in my desire for her, to be consumed, to consume. My propensities in love had consigned me as an outsider and now that i had embraced with vengefulness the state of my marginality i felt i could do what i wanted. And it was Gretel i wanted, Gretel i desired.

Call me broadminded and yes in general, the depredations of human beings, to most people shocking, are quite unsurprising to me. Without batting an eyelid the entire appurtenance of human folly passes me by, leaving my uncensorable feelings unscathed. But even i, with all this openness couldn't suppress a shiver of repulsion when i saw Hansel and Gretel together. Ever since they've been here Gretel's beauty is deepening as are her curves thickening and filling out. I suspect Hansel and Gretel, aware of the doom that awaits them make love, transmuting to the flesh a desire which, forestalled by annihilation, would never be theirs. And i burn with anger and helplessness.

I stir the pot, adding spices to the gravy. I  lean over, peering into the pot, to catch the effluvia of the sauce which simmers. I feel a sharp kick on my behind and land into the pot. Screeches of outrage and incredulity emanate from me and as my flesh is consumed by the fire i ready myself  for the after life.

Here i am, as unfulfilled as i was in life and with an unconsummated desire that is forever negated to me, by me. For what it's worth Gretel's luminous countenance floats before me. And in this realm, that is something. 

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