Saturday, August 3, 2013


Perhaps it is a truism that nothingness constitutes our anteriority. Yet the concept of nothingness inveigles into its structuration a tincture of romance. The need to trace abeginning, to locate a temporal point of reference is universal and perhaps without the need to go further back we would be  subsumed under the very nothingness we seek to locate a fulcrum from. An all too human desire, with its attendant mythopoeia , confers an imprimatur of authentication of being but in the process crystallizes certain phenomena at the cost of negating others.

And it is this negation that becomes a valid mechanism for the homosexual phenomenon to asseverate its indubitable existence. Negation draws attention to its own negation and erasure. A dominant structure invalidates the threatening presence of things that are 'other' by 'othering them'. That which is disregarded and repressed as unworthy is a counterpoint to the indeterminate ontology of that which is there, masquerading as ubiquitous.

'Existence precedes essence' is an encapsulation of phenomena's intrinsically tenuous being. What comes to be is not necessarily what always was. Conversely what is seemingly invisible is there, only repressed in the unconscious as unprepossessing. What is being? one may ask and indeed the question poses more doubts than answers them. Can physical being constitute being? Or is the palimpsest of consciousness on which the paraphernalia of being is predicated is being. Are there two beings then, the bodily and the consciousness. The mind is seen by Locke as a blank slate. Yet the appurtenances of pre existent collective modes of being inform being. Are we then composed of a conglomeration of unlocatable ontology or what we mold ourselves into through reconfiguring all that constitutes us. Consciousness imbues being with meaning. Is consciousness then a precondition or is it a protracted acquisition. Modern scientists are in search of certain genetic combinations that would attest to the presence of propensities and proclivities that determine a homosexual being. As of now the edifice is highly precarious and shaky. 

The more we eschew categorization the more palpable their ineluctability. Perhaps the homosexual being as it is or being for itself is a raison d etre, an incontrovertible affirmation. If our existence in our specific orientation is an unavoidable aspect of our being then homosexuality becomes a becoming that is both prefigurable and appropriable. The nature argument reduplicates the heterosexual presumption and as we have now, with post post modernism realized that the beginning of things is a chimera that recedes further and further the moment it is tentatively grasped. One is not arguing that one isn't born but becomes a homosexual. Born presupposes ontology, anteriority and all forms of polymorphous sexualities coexist. Can a homosexual orientation be based on being as birth itself. Genetics would putatively hypothesize thus but then becoming which involves amalgamation of disparate existential accoutrements as temporality progresses would undermine the 'i was born homosexual' paradigm. With the accumulation of consciousness knowledge is gathered. One is not arguing that one can't be born homosexual but merely saying that, given the unknowability of forms that would ratify this , it is perhaps better to look at things differently.

My tentative view, gleaned from queer theory and poststructuralism is that heterosexuality itself is not something one is born with. The physical being may be brought into being with an idea of an orientation but the associations that surround an orientation determine the dynamics. There is a vast pool of numerous concatenated orientations. Being there is, if one argues for temporal, physical being. Immutable being undermines essentialism. It doesn't matter if one born homosexual or becomes homosexual. One is what one has determined one's life to be. And as existence precedes essence it is perhaps sanguine to, in these times of constructs, value indivisible becoming as choice or as birthright to determine for an individual what he is.

Friday, August 2, 2013


Being and becoming are tenuous yet durable. As importunate being congeals, fluid becoming adapts. As resilient becoming transmogrifies, being attenuates.

Being and becoming are indivisible yet separable. As being contracts, becoming expands. As becoming proliferates, being circumscribes.

Being and becoming are illusory yet factual. As the myth of being burgeons, spectral becoming fabricates . As ineluctable becoming actualizes, being becomes fiction.

Being and becoming are opalescent yet penumbral. As being irradiates, becoming is silhouetted. As becoming incandesces , being is rendered crepuscular.

Being and becoming affirm and negate. As being validates, becoming becomes apocryphal. As becoming is crystallized, being obliterates its intransigence.

Being and becoming delude yet clarify. As being gets pellucid, becoming recedes into shadow. As becoming juts out, being is encased in doubt.

Being and becoming become and are. When being is, becoming becomes. When becoming becomes, being becomes.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013


Was this the moment when,
Drenched in sin, desirous of absolution
He transmogrified error into virtue.
Or was it at this point in time that
Needing to project, to extricate vice
To affirm virtue he crystallized his
Expiation by blaming her.

This was the moment when
Irradiated with knowledge, suffused
With luminous hope she though she'd discover
The secret of the cosmos.
At this point in time where
The mysteries of the universe were putatively
Resolved she discovered the ultimate of all mysteries;
The cognitive failure of being transmuted as punishment
For original sin.

What they both, in the crepuscular realm of
Nothingness discovered was an obliteration of memory.
Instead of anteriority they located a blank palimpsest
Where they wrote and rewrote narrative history
Embalming as sacerdotal that which depended
On tautology for its existence.

Today they bear the imprint of their actions.
She receded, he thrust forwards and now her steps
Progressing rapidly attenuate to the indeterminacy of
Consciousness, bemoaning then asserting, the ratification
Of her lot.

A university professor and a feminist argue their
Case's ins and outs. Divagations proliferate, rationality is
Promulgated, diplomacy eschewed. Yet their story endures.
As a demonstration of the uselessness of ignorance
And the purposelessness of knowledge.


A young man is a budding poet.Everyday he writes notes on fb and tags people onto them. Initially people respond and as the tags continue the response recedes. Yet the young man compulsively tags people and it gets to a point where tagging replaces the desire for response and becomes a raison d etre in itself.

A young woman is in a relationship. The man she is engaged to is on fb. Soon she begins to realize that his fb persona and real persona are totally different. And as the irreconcilability intensifies they stop seeing each other completely. However they interchange through facebook and soon she realizes that she has become, as a fb person, exactly what he expects from her in an online space. Real life replicates itself.

A woman is seeing two different men through facebook. With one she feels emotional satisfaction and with the other physical. The man with whom she's comfortable asks her to marry him and the man with whom she's emotionally comfortable asks her to marry him too. The woman tells them both that she loves the other one. At once the emotionally bonding man makes love to her forcefully and the physically bonding man begins assiduous inquiries about her emotional life.

A young woman finds herself getting defensive about rape and is vocal in expressing her disgust at chauvinist men. Her criticisms are certainly valid yet her ideological fervor intense. She finds, on one of her forays a young woman in a miniskirt ,posing in a bar with 4 male friends. The next few months reveal posts by the aforementioned young woman detailing her rape and how hellish it was .And the woman thinks 'well, she was asking for it'.

A woman meets a young man online. And they bond really well. They start by exchanging pleasantries and then share their lives with each other through messages. The woman nourishes hopes that the she would eventually meet him and the possibility of a relationship burgeons in her. One day she glances at his profile and discovers that he is gay. That evening, at the usual time she types in a hello and begins conversing.

A married woman, with a husband and a teenage son. A perfect suburban setting. Yet the woman feels lonely, dissatisfied, empty, listless. She joins facebook to alleviate her loneliness and finds a man for whom she feels attraction. They chat and the woman builds hopes of a parallel romance. One day she discovers the man has blocked her. Hiding her shame she goes and types in xx on a mutual friend's post and prepares supper.


A man conducts his daily life in a state of emptiness. Suicide dogs him like a shadow. The despair, always at the forefront subsumes his conscious life. He awaits his own death sentence, calmly, patiently, then he acts.

A woman gets into a relationship with an older man to gain a new dimension of experience. Soon she realizes that the relationship is obliterating traces of her own sense of her experience. As she gets neck deep into the relationship she abrogates her subjectivity.

A man is desperate to have his existential book published. He would love to communicate to the external world the kernel of nothingness he has fathomed. Yet publisher after publisher rejects him. In a frenzy he destroys his novel and begins, henceforth, to live.

A woman leads two parallel lives. In one she cooks, bakes, feeds her children, looks after the husband. In another she plots the lineaments of a novel about domestic drudgery. The two strands don't intersect because if they were to come together she'd kill herself.

A man is swamped in dismay. All the paths he sought to circumvent nothingness have failed him. Psychotherapy has failed him. He has fantasies of simultaneously seducing and throttling his therapist. Death and life intermesh fortuitously and in their inconclusiveness lies the secret of his continuance. If love were to triumph he would die in his quest for the ideal and if death were triumphant he would die because the ideal is unideal. So he hangs precariously.

A woman has just lost her child yet her consciousness has failed to register this fact. She croons, sings lullabies to an absent baby, the flattened mound of her stomach completely forgotten. The illusion is her reality and this reality her experience. Since her psyche believes and brings into being this reality she has turned her gaze away from 'reality'. When 'reality' forces its way in she will symbolically relinquish her reality. She hopes she can still live on.

A woman dreams blueprints, possibilities that may happen. Yet the moment the blueprint is at its most insistent the experience it reflects recedes away from her. She begins to lead a somnambulant life. Reality and dream become indistinguishable and she reconfigures reality to correspond to her dreams or molds her dream to match reality. She is a waking sleeping beauty.

A man tries to apprehend reality. However his conscious search leads him into labyrinths of unknowingness. He looks for a fulcrum, a base on which to construct an existential superstructure. Chaos supervenes as his self awareness leads to a knowledge of the unreality of reality. With this new knowledge he could either extinguish or flourish. He chooses to flourish and becomes a dictator.

Monday, July 29, 2013


Spilling with noble intent, goodness unfurls her plumage. It is with the desire to be acknowledged and to affirm that it permeates the consciousness of its bearers. Goodness suffuses the inchoate impulse towards altruism with concentrated density. It brings into being, from the nebulous hinterland of indiscriminate and attenuated shafts of probity, a clear hewn and focused line of veneration. It expostulates with the weak willed, severs their ignoble impulses from themselves and countenances no demurral to itself. In that sense goodness is both unyielding and tractable. The more forceful its manifestation the more oppressive its scatteration while the more circumspect its ministrations the more authentic its reception. Indubitably though it bears the insignia of itself and renders fluidly obdurate, apocryphally veracious and obtusely pellucid its ambiguous intimations of a way of life.

Sunday, July 28, 2013


A sliver of thought detaches itself from consciousness and takes on a form of it's own. Yet it remains threaded to consciousness by imperceptible filaments of being. It becomes consciousness. It becomes memory

Memory traverses layers of consciousness and plumbs from their unperceived recesses mnemonics whose surfacing is nebulous as its submergence. An incident, a thought jolts memory, memory moves hither and thither, extracting from its receptacle a latent thought, through associations of causality, and embalms it.

The thought, subterraneously immanent, needs temporality to jut out from the conglomeration of repositories of other thoughts that constitute its kaleidoscopic existence . It needs the external propulsion of memory to blend with and become memory itself.

Consciousness is composed of movements both nebulous and uncapturable. Consciousness hurls the random deteritus of memory, being, unconscious and becoming hither and thither. Vastly capacious paraphernalia dissosciate yet conjoin, dissever yet solder whilst remain in a state of durably tenuous interlinkage with the consciousness from whence they emerge.

The unconscious is the opalescent penumbra which underlies consciousness.Though cleaved through memory it takes on a distinct life of its own. Patterns of tautology underscore its inessential continuity. Such repetitive thought processes become memory as they blend with the conscious .

The flow of being, indivisible and ineluctable, stitches together these phenomena of itself. Being is the tabula rasa before whose inviolability fragments of consciousness,memory, thought and unconscious crystallize into a mode of being, a way of life. When they all converge, a being becomes.