Friday, November 29, 2013

A QUEER DISCURSIVE INTERSTICE

Interstice is my ontology. I am a self evident rent, a severing brought into being by the dialectics of negation. Erasure brings me into being and stipples me with forebodings of finality. I begin in that loop of metaphysic where naming begins. I am cleft to bring discourse into being and then rendered redundant. I am defined by that against which i am placed. The process of my osmosis is entombed in the integument of repression.

On that fatefully indeterminate anteriority i was pushed away to the edges of oblivion. In contrast to my conspicuous reflexiveness i was ,in the aegis of a putatively rational consciousness, repudiated. My erasure was necessary to create a structure of totality. Because i am, discourse exists . I exist, because discourse contains me.

Would then the discursive teleology encapsulate and encompass the vastness of my being. Is the narrative of origin, wrested from the nothingness of non being and sheathed in self imposed logos be the amorphous fulcrum that actualizes identity. Would a search for an insubstantial, indistinct epistemology yield certitudes or augment chimeras of self definition. Would corporeality negate the metaphysical or is it in the bare bones of the quotidian that the transcendent reposes.

Self determination buttresses me from these inchoate nebulosities. Yet the inescapable essentiality of discourse counterpoints the apotheosis i endeavor to realize. I inhabit a hinterland where unknowingness prevails. Into the primeval void of blankness are inscribed the hieroglyphs of my self constitution. I scratch away at these mnemonics, these intimations of self hood to cohere and create a pattern of ratiocination. Yet the primordial, by virtue of its indecipherable darkness, crystallize its tenebrous darkness.

Discursive spaces, indubitably, solder and fragment through the act of naming. Such a being, with its attendant congealings and eschewals is superimposed on me. The more i seek a center the more i fragment into multifarious configurations yet amid these dispersals and diffusions the inviolable collective kernel of who i am persists.

When discourses are built on my being the pre determined blueprints of preceding discourses are promulgated imperceptibly as modes of knowledge. But attenuation and unclassifiability determine me. I divest discourse of its discursivity and carve a self contained consecration for myself. I resist embalming because i am infinitely kinetic, protean configurable. In the interstitial carapaces of reduplication and performativity i dwell subterraneously. Hence i come to be.

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