Wednesday, September 11, 2013


He readies himself for the reading, looks at his audience and stifles a spasm of fear, as though the vision of himself doling out his inconsequentially whorled artifices will, tumbling, twisting and turning, drop plumb into the nothingness of non comprehension.

His being is suffused with unutterable anxiety. He has been gently expostulating with his publishers to circumvent the reading and to obliterate, from the deep well of insecurity, all remnants of disquiet. Yet he finds himself, unavoidably, before a bunch of listeners whose expectancy and rippling excitement intensifies his apprehension.

Yet his being quivers with excitement, vacillates between obscurity and recognition. On the verge of a plunge he watches the dark waters churning below, the waves curling, curving, enclosed yet expanding, rippling with unseizable energy. His poetry is the spar with which he hopes to sidestep submergence. His inveterate belief in his craft buoys him, supports him and he gathers himself together, as the mist concentrates itself to create a dense microclimate of impenetrability, of folding together the plumage and be inviolate and protean, holding on to vestiges of selfhood but still merging with the larger conglomeration of like minded people.

Poetry shores him up, always did against the chaos of the here and now. He can behold himself delineated, unruffled in the looking glass of his craft. Though the moment of creating fills him with inadequacy, an incertitude that what emerges will be incommensurate to what was conceived. He desires a soldering of thought with intent, intent with action. Moments of agreeable philosophic indolence and quiescence defer the process of writing, suspend self doubt and allay the excoriation which is an inevitable accompaniment to the creative process.

Despite these travails he stands. The knot of fear within him has liquefied and attenuated. Fears have been momentarily bypassed . He inhabits a realm of restfulness, in the interstice of apprehension and anticipation. He opens the page, pauses to take a breath and begins.

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