Monday, September 30, 2013


I was trawling the hall of mirrors that day, hoping for a glimpse into undiscerned depths of being. Yet the multitudes of reflections that reflected me back to myself were so profuse and variegated that my essence was obliterated in their midst. What that essence was to be was itself highly nebulous since seeing is contingent on perceiving. Yet so enraptured was i at the prospect of these numerous reflections that i, in partaking of their myriad richness, with ingenuous delight, returned homewards sated and fulfilled.

Remnants of those coruscating reflections, however continued to haunt me. And possessed of an exegetical propensity i began ruminating on the possibilities of what i had absorbed. And it stuck me, with pertinacious vigor that what i had managed to, unbeknown to myself, registered today was a proliferation of selves and possibilities The blueprint of my being dispersed, refracted and reconstituted into a mosaic. I was composed of polymorphous variations, singular and indivisible yet cohered into a whole with each arabesque patterned and whorled fluidly yet impeccably. To search for an essence amid this inexhaustible bounty would have been an endeavor to locate a temporal fulcrum. And the mediation of becomings these reflections proffered rendered the attribution of anteriority redundant.

What these reflections, in actuality seemed to propel was facsimiles of being, inverted and recreated. It began with the idea of a contextual being whose existence was its own affirmation. Into that tabula rasa, that blank ontological palimpsest were projected scintillating reflections, ricocheting, jostling, condensing, retracting, conjoining and severing. These undulant patterns of possibilities postulated a being that could be appropriated, accoutered and if necessary divested. Slivers of opportunities for creation abounded, suffused with protean energies . Into this vast pool of conglomeration lay the essence of who i was yet i was, in essence, essentially a component of this vast pool of nothingness from whence i was to emerge. Herein lay a blankness, an emptiness, compounded of nothingness yet constitutive of creation and i was being subsumed in this cavalcade of empty spaces wherein i could become a subject from the reflections of me, who was, in a sense a being but a being in potentia, an approximate being who could, from these latent, nascent hieroglyphs of identity, become a whole being.

And become i would but only by inevitably validating that i was a being who became yet became from an undifferentiated concatenation of nuanced hypotheses, as yet uncrystallized. That the being i carved for myself was as potent and as palpable a becoming as were the other reflections from whose amalgamated differences i became myself. The only way my being could be was by letting other putative beings be. The loopholes in the metaphysics of anthropomorphism has made a subject out of me. Iridescent crenellations have soldered to compactly sheathe an indeterminate me. Indeterminacy is my ontology and it is as an unequivocally self made being that i intend to be.

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